he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
