I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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