this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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