she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You ruined the universe
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
