Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
