i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
