I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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