Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
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When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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