So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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