If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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