you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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