we made out on top of his cat.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize