Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
