In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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