Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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