I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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