So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
