you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
