I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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