i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
