Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
