According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize