I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize