I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
