very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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