Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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