Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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