I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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