what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
