the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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