im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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