he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
