i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
