Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
