i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i will never coherently bang her
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
