i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
