I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
ok first of all what the fuck
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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