Your face is a jimmy john
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
there is puke in my bra ... again
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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