she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize