i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
