Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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