is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
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it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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