You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
