We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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