He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
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the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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