I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
