she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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