Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
