either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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