very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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