Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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