You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
