just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
