Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize