Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
