there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
