i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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