wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
