I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
