is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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