Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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