So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
