fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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