I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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