sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
