I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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